I am aware that the majority of my posts are related to being a medic and thus I am guilty of falling into the trap that medics are often accused of – of talking only about medicine. Unfortunately I’m really quite a boring person and have not much else to talk about. However my day is quite often filled with rather interesting people and what follows is the conversation with one such individual.
Background: Middle aged pleasant chronic schizophrenic man (let’s say called George) books an appointment for a pilot’s license medical. Receptionist (whose strength is not spelling) booked it as a ‘pilates medical’ – which is something entirely different. Anyway in walks George:
KBE: So you’re applying for a pilot’s license?
G: Well yes, I’ve been thinking I would like to get a job and I thought something along the lines of being an astronaut would be nice.
KBE: [Pause, keeping straight face -barely] Really?….O..K.
G: Yes, well, I checked on the European Space Agency website and they say I need a pilot’s license medical done before I can apply. But the application has to be in by I think the 6th of June.
KBE: Ok, well let’s see, you have diabetes don’t you?
G: Yes
KBE: Hmm and you’re quite overweight. I’m not sure you would qualify to be an astronaut.
G: Oh
KBE: …..And oh yes, you have schizophrenia -that might cause a problem too! [I think it’s fair to say that people prone to psychotic episodes shouldn’t fly planes (or space ships)!]
G: Oh ok then. Well my schizophrenia is pretty well under control at present [Next breath] I just thought it might be nice to have some solidarity with people who have been to the moon. But that’s ok…. While I’m here, could you look at a rash I have in my crotch…..
Kicked by an elephant 
